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TEMPI MODERNI

di Cristina Finocchi Mahne*

Una cara amica di mia madre, professore emerito di letteratura comparata alla Warwick University, terzo ateneo inglese – di cui è stata anche la prima donna vice-rettrice – mi ha recentemente raccontato quanto sua nonna si fosse indignata, negli anni 70, vedendo su una rivista una pubblicità in cui una donna incinta con un bel vestito a fiori stava bevendo una tazza di tè. Nel raccontarmi questo episodio, lo confrontava con un recente spot televisivo in cui si vedeva una donna seduta su un gabinetto che spiegava quanto fosse pratico ora trovare facilmente la disponibilità di assorbenti per l’incontinenza.

Il contrasto tra queste due immagini è un esempio di come la società sia cambiata in cinquant’anni.

Indipendentemente da come si giudichi questo cambiamento, si deve prendere atto che oggi si possa parlare apertamente di argomenti che una volta erano da tenere riservati. I disagi legati all’età e alle malattie, sia negli uomini sia nelle donne, sono stati per molti anni argomenti tabù: il cancro, la demenza, la perdita della vista e dell’udito, la menopausa, l’impotenza, erano tutte condizioni di cui le persone non parlavano in pubblico.

Anche la salute mentale, la morte, il dolore, la malattia terminale, la pianificazione del funerale sono invece oggi argomenti di dominio pubblico. Ovviamente ogni individuo può scegliere se condividere questo tipo di informazioni personali. Ma ciò che conta è che coloro che vogliono parlare di un particolare problema che li preoccupa, possono ora farlo senza il senso di vergogna che ha prevalso per molto tempo. Numerosi tabù di vecchia data sembrano dunque ridursi.

Nel corso degli anni a molti è capitato di perdere persone vicine a causa del cancro, e in alcuni casi di non avere idea della loro malattia fino alla fine. In seguito, non solo si sente il dolore della perdita, ma anche il fatto di non aver potuto offrire alcun tipo di supporto psicologico perché avevano ritenuto più opportuno non dirlo a nessuno al di fuori dei familiari stretti.

È una loro scelta, ovviamente, ma quando alcuni anni fa è stato diagnosticato a me, ho parlato apertamente della mia malattia e così facendo sono riuscita a dare informazioni utili e supporto a molti amiche, amici e conoscenti. Condividendo i dettagli di come ho affrontato una diagnosi di tumore, ho reso le persone molto più consapevoli di come ci si senta nelle mie condizioni, al fine di dare spazio all’energia positiva, così necessaria per la guarigione.

Non avevo avuto nessun sintomo e sono stata fortunata perché entrambe le formazioni erano operabili e dopo diversi mesi di terapie, da numerosi anni sono… nuovamente in perfetta forma!

La gratitudine va all’equipe di eccellenza che mi ha seguita all’Humanitas a Milano, cui ho affiancato, solo per un mio desiderio di approfondimento, in ragione dei diversi protocolli di cura previsti in Europa e in Usa per il tipo di patologia da cui era affetta, un dialogo con il Memorial Sloan Kettering a NY.

C’è molto da imparare quando ti viene diagnosticata una malattia grave e la stessa parola “tumore” può suscitare “timore”. Ma nel corso del “viaggio” ho appreso molte ulteriori informazioni sul corpo e sulla psiche, cui non avevo avuto tempo e modo di riflettere in precedenza. E saperne di più aiuta ad affrontare con maggior sicurezza tutta la parte di vita successiva.

Se, come è capitato a me, si ha la fortuna di riuscire a raccontare questa esperienza, è inevitabile riconoscere il profondo percorso di arricchimento, anche spirituale, che la caratterizza.

*Consigliere di Amministrazione di società quotate Membro Advisory Board Europeo Fordham University NY Adjunct Professor Università Cattolica del Sacro Cuore Milano

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