Fondazione Marisa Bellisario

LA DERIVA DELL’AMORE-MALESSERE: IL FENOMENO CHE DEVE RICHIAMARE LE NOSTRE COSCIENZE

di Monica Mosca*

Qui non parliamo di gioventù bruciata. Qui non c’è tormento che si mescola a poesia, non ci sono rabbia e sentimenti tanto appassionatamente intrecciati come nel film di Nicholas Ray. Non c’è l’urgenza del riscatto, la potenza della disperazione. Qui, e lo scrivo con rammarico, manca tutto.

L’unico terribile punto di contatto fra le vicende cinematografiche e la vita vera di certi ragazzi di oggi è la mancanza di un lieto fine, che non c’era nella finzione e non c’è drammaticamente nemmeno nella realtà.

Da giornalista di lungo corso, mi trovo a osservare e a cercare di interpretare con disagio un nuovo fenomeno legato ai giovanissimi, ragazze e ragazzi di 15, 16, 20 anni, che esprimono la loro stralunata visione dell’amore sui social, davanti alla telecamera di uno smartphone. Siamo nel 2023, non ce la aspettavamo più una deriva del genere.

Invece vi voglio raccontare di Jessica (è minorenne, il nome è di fantasia): abita in una città del Sud, ha i capelli lunghissimi, come le unghie, come le ciglia, tutto posticcio, mentre cortissimi sono i pantaloncini e la maglietta che indossa, il sedere scoperto e il seno strizzato, le scarpe con la zeppa infinita. Un pulcino grottesco. Mi sono imbattuta in lei su TikTok: Jessica improvvisa in cucina una sorta di lap dance senza palo e racconta in un video il fidanzato che cerca.

Riporto le sue parole che compaiono in sovrimpressione. Ho tolto i termini che non posso scrivere: “Lo voglio geloso, deve morire per me – Lo voglio violento, che picchia per me, che impazzisce se non mi trova – Lo voglio con la Mercedes grossa, che mi porta in discoteca e mi sbatte al muro – Lo voglio che mi fa piangere. Voglio un malessere”.

Sta tutto qui, nel termine “malessere”, il punto di quello che per certi, troppi ragazzini è ormai un trend, inquietante e svilente. C’è anche una canzone di un’interprete neomelodica molto amata che si intitola così e che va fortissimo, con milioni di visualizzazioni su YouTube. Basta digitare questa parola su TikTok per entrare in un mondo assurdo, spiazzante e soprattutto di grande tristezza: centinaia di giovanissimi, maschi e femmine, cantano e mimano un amore arido così, sguaiato, vuoto, volgare. Un amore che amore non è affatto, piuttosto ricerca di sballo a buonissimo mercato, voglia di apparire, desiderio di rissa.

Il malessere è un lui o una lei che ti faccia stare male, che ti dia il tormento ma tu non lo lasci perché non ne puoi fare a meno. Il malessere non è necessariamente violento con te, è “solo” pazzo di gelosia ma tu ne sei orgogliosa, o orgoglioso, perché così dimostra di amarti. L’alter ego al maschile di Jessica sono uno stuolo di Pablo con il cappellino firmato e l’orecchino con il brillante finto, il borsello, i tatuaggi in faccia, gli occhiali neri anche la notte, il dito medio sempre alzato. Scimmiottamenti di rapper. Una desolazione.

Eppure io le ho viste le piazze italiane ondeggiare sotto la marea dei giovani che hanno protestato con rabbia e convinzione per la libertà delle donne, contro la violenza degli uomini. E conosco molti, moltissimi ragazzi che studiano e si laureano, anche con sacrifici, per costruirsi la giusta vita di soddisfazione e di successo che meritano. Dividono anche un buco di appartamentino perché l’affitto è indegno, o prendono il treno tutti i giorni avanti e indietro per andare a fare stage gratuiti. Ho la felicità di conoscere questi giovani eccellenti che saranno i protagonisti di domani, che sono la nostra propaggine migliore, e che mi commuovono.

E allora cosa sta succedendo sotto i nostri occhi troppo spesso ciechi? No, il fenomeno dell’amore-malessere non è colpa dei social: non è mai il mezzo il problema, ma il modo in cui il mezzo viene impiegato. La responsabilità è dell’ignoranza, spesso della povertà non solo culturale, quasi sempre delle famiglie assenti. Attenzione, non sto genericamente puntando il dito: c’è anche ignoranza incolpevole di chi non ha potuto studiare, anche assenza giustificabile di chi non può essere presente per necessità più impellenti e gravi.

Chi invece è attrezzato per capire ma non se ne cura, trova di meglio da fare o trova addirittura questo fare divertente, o ancora minimizza il fenomeno, genitori in primis, è colpevole senza sconti. Chi vede le ragazzine rendersi macchiette e anelito sgangherato delle influencer, chi vede magari i propri figli atteggiarsi a bulli da quattro soldi e farsi belli straparlando di spaccio e di ferro (la pistola), ecco, chi sa e non prova a spiegare, partecipa a questa messinscena. Allora sì, è complice e condannabile.

Non ho soluzioni all’appello che sto lanciando, ma certamente lo rivolgo a tutti coloro che possono in qualche modo intervenire in aiuto: ai professori, alle famiglie che se ne rendono conto, ai ragazzi stessi, ai loro compagni di scuola. Facciamoci cordone e argine contro una deriva desolante e dai numeri allarmanti. Facciamoci boa di emergenza perché tutte le Jessica e i Pablo, così giovani, restino a galla e non indietro, e non perdano la meravigliosa occasione di diventare donne e uomini.

*Giornalista

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