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PIACERE, GIOVANNI

305 commenti / Blog, Le protagoniste, Newsletter / Di

di Laura Luigia Martini*
Invochiamo molto spesso e ben a ragione le criticità connesse alla parità di genere, ma è giusto ricordare che non si tratta di un problema esteso a tutto o a tutti indistintamente, anzi, a volte assistiamo a esempi tra i più belli ed eclatanti di parità nelle nostre vite di ogni giorno, rapportandoci con persone comuni che nulla hanno da invidiare ai potenti.

È un grande onore per me oggi scrivere una piccola parte della storia di un meraviglioso giovane uomo, una persona speciale per tutti quelli che come me ebbero la fortuna di averlo accanto, percorrendo con lui un tratto della propria vita. Un ragazzo come tanti, eppure molto composto ed educatissimo, umile e dai modi gentili, con chiaro in mente ciò che è bene e ciò che non lo è. L’incarnazione, straordinaria per la giovane età, del fatto che le disuguaglianze esistono, ma non per tutti e non in ogni contesto, laddove con “contesto” intendo il cuore e l’animo di ognuno di noi. Normalmente si dice che in materia di parità le donne sono le migliori amiche delle donne. Può darsi, ma questa storia racconta qualcosa di diverso.

Lo conobbi a tredici anni, prima liceo scientifico, e mi si presentò proprio così: “Piacere, Giovanni”.
Gli anni del liceo non sono sempre facili da affrontare, e io avevo ottime votazioni ma anche un carattere piuttosto schivo, non per superbia, ma fondamentalmente per un’esagerata timidezza. Giovanni era molto intelligente e mi aveva perfettamente capita senza che avessimo dovuto parlarne, ma certo non poteva essere così per tutti. In particolare, c’era uno studente un po’ più grande di noi, in un’altra classe, che aveva spesso gli atteggiamenti tipici del bullo di quartiere, e mi aveva preso di mira, riuscendo a rendere le mie giornate a scuola molto pesanti, tanto da temere di incontrarlo nei corridoi. Giovanni sembrò ignorare la cosa dapprincipio, finché un giorno, con fare sicuro e determinato, gli si avvicinò chiedendo di parlargli. E fu così che, guidato da quella riflessiva calma che denota ponderazione, refrattario a qualsiasi forma di turpiloquio, gli spiegò con grande chiarezza ed equilibrio che era sbagliato utilizzare il proprio essere maschio, fisicamente più forte, a scopo intimidatorio nei confronti dell’altro sesso. «Le donne sono come noi – disse – pensano come noi, come noi soffrono e gioiscono e dunque hanno i nostri stessi diritti di vivere serenamente la scuola e la relazione con i compagni che a scuola incontrano. E noi abbiamo il dovere di ascoltarle e di rispettarle come rispettiamo qualunque altro ragazzo, tenendo conto che c’è sempre un arricchimento che deriva da un punto di vista diverso». La famosa “contaminazione delle idee” che dopo oltre trent’anni oggi va tanto di moda.

Queste le sue parole, per quanto io mi rammenti, ma l’ardore e il carisma con cui furono pronunciate queste parole ridussero immediatamente al silenzio il bullo di cui non ricordo il nome, con il risultato che non mi tormentò più. Provai a ringraziare il mio compagno per quanto detto in mia difesa, ma mi rispose che non era dovuto alcun ringraziamento, poiché lui aveva solo espresso le sue convinzioni, ciò che riteneva fosse giusto.

Ecco. Un fulgido esempio di parità, inconsapevole eppur vero. Ma quanti Giovanni noi donne abbiamo incontrato nel corso della nostra esistenza? Quanti ragazzi già tanto maturi a quell’età ci sono nelle nostre scuole? E quanti da uomini adulti diventano così? Non saprei dirlo, ma so che questo ricordo è uno dei gioielli più preziosi della mia memoria.

Giovanni fu prematuramente strappato alla vita all’età di 27 anni, gli stessi occhi sinceri e profondi, lo stesso sorriso aperto e luminoso, lo stesso cuore grande, lo stesso animo limpido e incapace di fare del male. Il pensiero di aver perso quell’amico mi reca ancora un dolore sconfinato, eppure la sua lezione di coraggio e di giustizia non morirà mai dentro di me. Non posso fare a meno di pensare che avrebbe vissuto tutta la sua vita seguendo gli stessi principi che lo avevano guidato sin da ragazzo, che avrebbe sempre mostrato lo stesso rispetto e considerazione per uomini e donne indistintamente, nel privato come nell’ambito professionale. Lui, così lontano da quel narcisismo patologico di cui troppi esempi permeano la società moderna. Lui, così incrollabilmente fedele a se stesso e alle verità in cui credeva.

Cosa ci insegna questa storia? Che anche tra i più piccoli della Terra a volte può nascondersi un gigante, ma bisogna saperlo riconoscere. Non mi resta che augurare a questo nostro mondo molte più persone come il mio compagno di classe di oltre trent’anni fa, cosicché di disuguaglianze tra uomo e donna in svariati contesti forse oggi non sarebbe più necessario disquisire.

*CEO Business Advisor, Executive Vice President Corporate Business Development FINCANTIERI

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